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Old Ranger
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Posted: May 14 2018 at 8:02am | IP Logged Quote Old Ranger

Being fond of old westerns and movies from
my youth and beyond, I spend a few hours
watching TV during the day. The
commercials are plentiful and often geared
for certain types of folk I reckon. And
I've discovered many things I need or
should have according to the
advertisements presented. Like......

I need catheters or perhaps adult diapers.
Especially if I fly a plane.

Must have special life insurance. Old
people are dropping like flies and they
tell each other about it after burying
another old person. And how is affordable
and even if you're knocking on death's
door you're approved!

All of my cooking utensils are useless and
I need copper clad everything. The copper
stuff is the "Boss" and all others are
sticking, nasty, messy things to throw out
or use as hanging targets.

I'm overweight. There's diet plans for us
all. No one is slim. We're all fat and
need to loose 20 pounds in the first week.
Marie Osmond says so!

And we're all out of shape as well.
They've got treadmills, pendulum style
contraptions, thing that hangs you up like
a bat. Chuck Norris tells you about his
"slide & glide" gizmo. Some have a little
TV where you got young & fit people to
guide you. And the added benefit of these
things all make great clothes hangers
after the first week!

And I need different car insurance. Forget
what you have, the other guy's is a better
deal. A short General with a mustache
bigger than mine or a little lizard with a
British accent telling you that yours
sucks.

And finally lawyers. They've got a lawsuit
going on for everyone. Surgical
instruments left inside you. Mesh ripping
apart. Asbestos fibers. Diabetic pills
killing ya. You name it, they got a law
firm suing someone. Get in on the action
if you're still alive. If not, sue 'em for
a dead relative. They won't mind if ya
make a buck off of 'em. The lawyers sure
as hell won't!

Yeah, quite an astonishing revelation to
find I lack certain critical items and
suffer from such issues in my physical
being that didn't exist a day or two ago.
Just amazing.

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Tom W.
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Posted: May 14 2018 at 9:39am | IP Logged Quote Tom W.

If Marie Osmond came to my house I do believe I'd listen to her...

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Paul B.
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Posted: May 14 2018 at 1:04pm | IP Logged Quote Paul B.

Tom W. wrote:
If Marie Osmond came to my house I do believe I'd
listen to her...


Yeah, me too.

In the case of those lawyers suing, I got involve with one. After the
scumbag lawyers took their "share" I got a check for $0.39. You a whole
39 cents. Guess I should be grateful I got anything at all. I sent it back
and told them to stick where the sun don't shine. I wonder how many
millions they stuck in their pockets. I think Shakespeare got it right when
he said, "Kill all the lawyers."
Paul B.
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nhblaze
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Posted: May 15 2018 at 7:27am | IP Logged Quote nhblaze

With the internet I go to
you-tube and watch the
History Channel, no commercials
and good viewing.

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Old Ranger
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Posted: May 15 2018 at 8:01am | IP Logged Quote Old Ranger

But how will you know that you're in such bad shape, in
need of stuff, and get to see Marie Osmond?

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Tom W.
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Posted: May 15 2018 at 11:13am | IP Logged Quote Tom W.

Jeeze, who cares? It might be my last day on earth, but I promise you I'd have a smile the undertaker could never wipe off!

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richhodg66
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Posted: May 15 2018 at 3:40pm | IP Logged Quote richhodg66

Seeing her on TV now (maybe it's because I'm old now) I think she's a lot better looking than she was when she was young and popular.

Between MeTV, FETV (Sergeant Preston of the Yukon and Barney Miller, Hooah!) and a couple of other channels geared towards classic movies, account for 99% of the TV that's worth watching to me.

I do have to admit to being a huge Walking Dead fan though. Embarrassed by how much I like that show, but can't seem to get enough of it for some reason.

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Tom W.
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Posted: May 15 2018 at 3:44pm | IP Logged Quote Tom W.

I watch a lot of LAFF and METV... I like Night Court, WKRP, Gomer Plye, and old shows. These "reality" shows just don't cut it with me...

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Old Ranger
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Posted: May 16 2018 at 3:08pm | IP Logged Quote Old Ranger

Some other extremely needed items as well.

Tac glasses. Gotta have 'em! Everyone is blind as a bat
without 'em. Some "Ranger" named Tonto said so.
And there's that computer screen with the invisible eagle
that can only be seen with their glasses. I've never been
attacked by an eagle in a computer but I have shot a
computer before. Perhaps it had an invisible eagle in it.
Better get the tac glasses to be sure!

Tac lights. Again, gotta have 'em since we all know we're
blind right? They're indestructible right? Run over by
6x6's, cars, a tank!? Holy crap boys, we all need one of
them! Ya just never know when you're gonna store your
flashlights under the wheels of your vehicles!

Yup. I just never knew how much I was missing until I
started watching the TV and finding all those things I
couldn't live without. Amazing I lasted this long until
now.
Forgot putting down cash on paying out that '79 S&W 4"
Mod 28, I gotta buy everything they're selling on TV just
to survive!

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Tom W.
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Posted: May 16 2018 at 6:23pm | IP Logged Quote Tom W.

I bought an "indestructible" Tac Lite when I was employed as a Q.A. at my last job. I needed it to look into shaded areas at the chicken plant to look for places that the clean up crew may have missed. It worked well until I pushed the on/off button and my thumb went through it. I boxed it up nd got a fill refund. Then I went to the PX and got a Slyde light..... Much better....

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turbo1889
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Posted: May 16 2018 at 8:42pm | IP Logged Quote turbo1889

Yup, all the fancy flashlights they
usually cheap out on the darn on/off
switch/button !!! That is one of the
major pet peeves of mine that makes me
want to shove the flashlight down their
throats.

MeTV & GRIT over air broadcast

Full30

Then there is YouTube ~ gun channels, sci-
fi stuff, history channel, documentaries,
etc . . . Don't like the stunts that
YouTube has been pulling ever since they
got bought up by Google in pursecuting
anti-leftist channels especially pro-2nd
channels but still a lot of good stuff on
there they haven't managed to pull down
yet.

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nhblaze
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Posted: May 17 2018 at 10:17am | IP Logged Quote nhblaze

Don't do it Ranger,
buy that model 28 !!



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Old Ranger
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Posted: May 17 2018 at 2:09pm | IP Logged Quote Old Ranger

Oh, have no fear. That 28's on layaway and I'll have it
out in a few months. Got my "Ranger Word" on it.
and I never give my Ranger Word lightly. been without a
357 mag for a while now, and the model 28 is the absolute
perfect 357 Magnum Revolver ever built. so it'll be
coming home shortly. I'm patient.

I'm just horse'en around with these goofy TV commercials.
They're beyond stupid and approaching irrationally
irritating! But they must sell all that junk to
someone. Not me of course, but I'm sure they sell that
stuff to somebody. Maybe some old decrepit fools that sit
around and watch TV cuz they ain't got a life, Hey wait a
minute, that sounds like me almost! But I'm still
not buying any of their stuff!

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